http://www.bentch.com/2008/08/07/helpful-hubbies/ I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. -- C.S. Lewis Sat, 16 Apr 2011 19:31:24 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 http://www.bentch.com/2008/08/07/helpful-hubbies/comment-page-1/#comment-300 jennifer Fri, 08 Aug 2008 19:28:13 +0000 http://www.bentch.com/?p=335#comment-300 Dale, you make a really good point. The benefits of helping out far outweigh the actual tasks themselves. I always tell Jeremiah he is never more handsome to me than when I see him helping with the kids or cleaning. That even balance just makes everyone happier in the end. Dale, you make a really good point. The benefits of helping out far outweigh the actual tasks themselves. I always tell Jeremiah he is never more handsome to me than when I see him helping with the kids or cleaning. That even balance just makes everyone happier in the end.

]]> http://www.bentch.com/2008/08/07/helpful-hubbies/comment-page-1/#comment-299 Megan Fri, 08 Aug 2008 19:04:54 +0000 http://www.bentch.com/?p=335#comment-299 They have got to ask for the help! (Or just stop doing all the work) It's kind of like children that still live off of their parents over the age of 25. If you don't have to pay your way, why get a job? If the daddy doesn't have to do any work, why do it? I don't think "that's the way I was raised" can be an excuse. Wade grew up watching his dad never lift a finger and he is totally opposite. Maybe it's because he watched how hard it was on his mom and their marriage, who knows. You have a tough job here. It's going to be hard discussing with your friends that their hubbies are being lazy. It's one thing to do things for your husband, but when it gets to the point in which you are always complaining, you might need to reevaluate. Good luck. And thanks for reminding me how lucky I truly am! They have got to ask for the help! (Or just stop doing all the work) It’s kind of like children that still live off of their parents over the age of 25. If you don’t have to pay your way, why get a job? If the daddy doesn’t have to do any work, why do it? I don’t think “that’s the way I was raised” can be an excuse. Wade grew up watching his dad never lift a finger and he is totally opposite. Maybe it’s because he watched how hard it was on his mom and their marriage, who knows. You have a tough job here. It’s going to be hard discussing with your friends that their hubbies are being lazy. It’s one thing to do things for your husband, but when it gets to the point in which you are always complaining, you might need to reevaluate. Good luck. And thanks for reminding me how lucky I truly am!

]]> http://www.bentch.com/2008/08/07/helpful-hubbies/comment-page-1/#comment-298 Pa Dale Fri, 08 Aug 2008 18:18:45 +0000 http://www.bentch.com/?p=335#comment-298 For the record I am not a male chauvinist. I do not think it is Kathy's responsibility to take care of everything and bring me tea. Truth is, I am just Lazy. Seriously I think it is pure selfishness by men who do not help. It has taken a while for me to learn and change for I was truly spoiled. My marriage was great but Kathy's wasn't all that wonderful I have now discovered that the most selfish thing I can do is to help my wife with different things and to bless her all I can. The return is worth more than every dish cleaned and every trash can emptied. Her Marriage is now wonderful and mine is better than before. For the record I am not a male chauvinist. I do not think it is Kathy’s responsibility to take care of everything and bring me tea. Truth is, I am just Lazy.
Seriously I think it is pure selfishness by men who do not help.
It has taken a while for me to learn and change for I was truly spoiled.
My marriage was great but Kathy’s wasn’t all that wonderful
I have now discovered that the most selfish thing I can do is to help my wife with different things and to bless her all I can.
The return is worth more than every dish cleaned and every trash can emptied.
Her Marriage is now wonderful and mine is better than before.

]]> http://www.bentch.com/2008/08/07/helpful-hubbies/comment-page-1/#comment-296 Brandon Fri, 08 Aug 2008 00:08:34 +0000 http://www.bentch.com/?p=335#comment-296 We've talked about this too. I don't think it's a "new generation" thing. I think it's left over from an old generation. Rebecca's Grandmother took care of the whole family, therefore Rebecca's mom took care of all the girls while her dad read the paper on Sunday mornings. I asked Mrs. Bailey why she did that and she told me "that's just how it was". She got to church and was exhausted but the only thought she had was..."man thats a lot of work to get to church"...not, "man I wish my husband would have helped me". Rebecca's not that way though and would let me know if I wasn't doing my part. I think it's how you were raised, and when two people get together that saw the same kind of upbringing, its natural. It's different for us because Ava bottle fed from nearly the beginning and since Becca had a difficult recovery, I was mainly taking care of Ava at the very beginning. So we've always thought of it as a team effort. We’ve talked about this too. I don’t think it’s a “new generation” thing. I think it’s left over from an old generation. Rebecca’s Grandmother took care of the whole family, therefore Rebecca’s mom took care of all the girls while her dad read the paper on Sunday mornings. I asked Mrs. Bailey why she did that and she told me “that’s just how it was”. She got to church and was exhausted but the only thought she had was…”man thats a lot of work to get to church”…not, “man I wish my husband would have helped me”. Rebecca’s not that way though and would let me know if I wasn’t doing my part. I think it’s how you were raised, and when two people get together that saw the same kind of upbringing, its natural. It’s different for us because Ava bottle fed from nearly the beginning and since Becca had a difficult recovery, I was mainly taking care of Ava at the very beginning. So we’ve always thought of it as a team effort.

]]>