Room Parent Debacle: Opinions Needed

December 5, 2008

Breckin is in preschool at public school. The annoying thing about sending him to public school is that I have been solicited for money about a thousand times since school started. Either from the PTO, a fundraiser, or the room parent. A room parent is someone who organizes class parties and collects funds to buy gifts for the teachers, etc. Anyway, Breckin’s original teacher had a baby at the beginning of the year, so the room parent asked everyone for a specific amount of money for a baby gift. I gave the money happily. Then, the substitute was there for a while and left in November so the original teacher could take over again. The room parent thought we should buy the substitute a parting gift. Great idea! She asked everyone for $3. Now, there are 28 kids that are taught by this preschool teacher, so that means she was asking for $84. That seems like quite the gift to me. Anyway, I was happy to give then too, except that I completely forgot. I sent Breckin to preschool on the deadline without the $3 only to realize I had forgotten about a week later. I figured it wasn’t a big deal though because even missing my $3, it was still a lot of money. Plus, it is a choice as to whether or not you want to give. You don’t have to by any means. So, this was about 3 weeks ago. The room parent bought the sub a present and all was well. Then, yesterday we got a note from the room parent asking for more money ($5 for a Christmas present for the teacher) and asking me to send 12 juice boxes for the holiday party (I signed up for at the beginning of the year). Then, at the bottom of my note it said, “Please add $3 more for the substitute’s gift.” I am confused because she bought the gift cards for her 2 weeks ago, so why is she still asking for more? And, while I simply forgot, what if we were a struggling family this year and just didn’t have the extra money for all of this gift giving? What if I disliked the sub and didn’t want to give? What if I gave the sub my own gift? She has no way of knowing any of this and her second request tells me that she spent more money than she had on the gift cards. I am not the only one put off by this because her requests have been more like demands for money from the start. I know other mom’s are not liking her approach as well. I think she is well intentioned, just not very tactful. And now, I am definitely not giving her the money for the substitutes gift. And, I am not giving the $5 for the teacher’s gift either. Breckin and I are going to buy his teacher a gift instead. One of the other moms is my good friend and she feels the same way. She has declined to participate and always gotten her own gift simply because of the way the room parent demands the money. Anyway, I need opinions on what the appropriate response. I feel like calling the school is a bit harsh, but someone should probably tell her to use more sensitivity in her requests because she is really making people mad. But, I don’t know her, so I am not sure that is my responsibility. Anyway, opinions please!

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