He Said What?!
February 26, 2009
Last night, I had the following conversation with Breckin and it broke my heart.
Me: Breckin, did you know that Jesus loves you so much!?
Breckin: No, He doesn’t.
Me: Yes He does.
Breckin: No, He doesn’t. I’m not very good.
Me: Breckin, Jesus always loves you, no matter what. And you are a very good boy. Mommy and Daddy love you no matter what too. You are a good boy!
This is THE moment. The moment when all parenting tactics come into question. What?!! How did he come to think such a thing? Was he just being a cranky little stinker or was he serious? Does he really think that God’s love is conditional? Does he really think he is bad? Did someone else tell him that because we certainly didn’t?! My mind was reeling. Of course, in typical mom fashion, I instantly began to think it was all my fault. I had failed him. We actively practice Grace Based Parenting and have always tried to instill in our kids that God’s love is full of grace and mercy, not a long list of to-don’ts and rules. We also heavily practice parental positive reinforcement. Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean they are never disciplined, but it is always a very calm and careful thing and we try hard not to let the emotions of the moment direct us. I strongly feel as though children see God in a similar way to how they see their parents. If their parents are merciless and lack grace, that is how they will see God. We have tried to discipline with grace and love, while still standing our ground and setting limits. Until that moment last night, I felt as though we had been doing a decent job. We aren’t perfect, but we try so hard to show them the mercy and grace of God through our relationship with them. So now, I pray. I pray that my son knows our love is unconditional and that the love of the Lord is also unconditional. And I pray that he knows how precious he is. And of course, I have followed him around all day today telling him how good he his and how much God and we love him no matter what happens. I am sure he is slightly annoyed with me by now, but what can I say, I am a mommy. I know he might have just said that to be a dramatic 4 year old, but I just want to cover all of my bases.
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