My River of Joy

November 1, 2009

There is a Jars of Clay song that I absolutely love. I cling to the words of this song during difficult times to remind me that joy is to follow. The chorus says, “I will sing of your mercies that lead me through valleys of sorrow to rivers of joy.” It is a beautiful song. As many of you know, in my pregnancy with Judah, I walked through a valley of sorrow around 20 weeks. I was sick, and not just a little sick, but very sick. This physical struggle quickly became a mental and emotional struggle. The emotional struggle quickly became a spiritual struggle. I struggled with why God was allowing something so horrible when I was begging Him to make it stop. I was exhausted, couldn’t breathe and was very frightened. But, my mind kept coming back to this song. I would hear the words and cry. I was crying because my valley seemed particularly deep this time but also because I knew the words were true.

It has recently occurred to me that I talked a lot about that valley for a while, but haven’t talked too terribly much about my river of joy. And, oh how joyous I am! God has blessed me beyond my own understanding. I have three beautiful healthy children. Recently Breckin and Arwyn have decided to be best friends instead of mortal enemies. Blessing! And our beautiful new baby boy is just that, beautiful inside and out. I have an amazing husband who supported me through a tough pregnancy and delivery and now enjoys the rewards of our tumultuous walk with me.

Judah is such an amazing child. I cannot say enough about how much love and joy he has brought to our lives. He sleeps well, rarely fusses and is just so very sweet. My heart is full and as a Mommy, I feel complete. Thank you Lord for such a wonderful little family. Without further ado, one of the many currents in my river of joy!

And the song that gets me through those valleys.

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