Children’s Book Review

April 6, 2010

Your Body Belongs to You by Cornelia Spelman

I got this book today at the library for the kids because I wanted to talk to them about this topic. I have to say I LOVE this book. It is short, simple and to the point. The note to parents at the front of the book struck me, so I have to share it. As a child I was definitely a “touch-me-not” as my parents would often say. I just did not like being hugged and kissed. In fact, I still don’t like it unless it is one of my kids or Jeremiah. It annoys me that people have always given me a hard time about it. Now that I am raising a girl who is pretty much my clone, I am noticing she is also not a fan of hugging and kissing sometimes. She loves to climb on me, love on me etc. sometimes. But there are other times when I ask for a kiss goodnight and she tells me no. I respect that. But I remember many instances when I was forced to give someone a hug/kiss when I REALLY didn’t want to. And I know there are times when Arwyn is pressured to hug or kiss someone when she really doesn’t feel like it. So, I especially loved this note to parents.

From the book –
“Children need an abundance of warm physical affection to thrive. However, when children indicate that they don’t want to be hugged or kissed, we need to respect their reactions. In this way, they learn that being touched is their own choice, not another’s; that their body belongs to them.

We often unwittingly teach the opposite lesson when we force children to give a goodnight kiss to a relative or friend, or when we permit others to pick up, tickle, or kiss our children against their wishes……..to protect our children against sexual abuse we must realize that abuse is only the extreme continuum of the unwanted touch. Children who are taught very early that their bodies belong to them and that they have the right to decline touch are being taught that they are not powerless.”

I just loved that. So true.

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