OCD Update

April 2, 2011

Okay, so several people have asked me to update how I am doing. I am doing amazingly well! The skies are blue again, the weather is getting warmer, my kids are behaving, my husband rocks, and my drugs are working quite well…..ahhhhhhhh. Zoloft and I are great friends. Aside from a few side effects from increasing my dosage (just annoying stuff) things are going really well. I start cognitive behavioral therapy next Friday April 8. I’ll keep you posted on that. I hear it is a very intense process and the therapist has even warned me about that. Also, I have been asked the same questions about the whole thing again and again, so I have decided to do a FAQ section. Exciting I know. So, here we go.

1. OCD? So, do you wash your hands a lot?
– No. There are many types of OCD and that is not my type, although the type can change throughout your life. Mine is primarily fear of hurting someone else on accident, someone hurting me or the people I love, or health obsessions.

2. Do you still have those scary thoughts about the kids?
– Yes, sometimes. Not as often and since I am now taking an anti-anxiety med they don’t upset me as much, so I don’t obsess over them. Most of the time, I can ignore them and just shrug them off. Sometimes, I have to make more of a choice to move on and it is more difficult.

3. Will you always have OCD?
– Yep. It’s chronic and will probably always be something I have to overcome. But, I am getting as much help as possible to combat it. Therapy + Medicine = Somewhat normal Jen

4. Can you just stop the thoughts?
– No. I tried and that just made things 10 times worse. Again, meds and therapy.

5. You seem so happy about this diagnosis????
– Honestly, I thought I was psychotic and a potential threat to my kids and the people around me. So, finding out it is OCD and there is no possible way I would ever act on those thoughts (which are actually my worst fears replaying themselves over and over) was a huge relief. I have been dealing with this forever, so there is no “oh poor me” going on for me. It is more like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders to finally know why I have been this way my entire life. On top of that, it is something that is treatable. Praise the Lord!

6. So, what are the side effects of Zoloft?
– They are different for everyone, but for me, they are just annoying. For the first month or so when I am taking it, I am really sleepy during the day and, of course, I have insomnia at night. That goes away though. The main annoying thing is that my brain feels slower. Sort of like I stutter from time to time, in my head.

7. Are all of your OCD symptoms gone on medicine?
– No, but they are watered down significantly. I still lock my car door more than once and check things, just not as much as before. I still count my steps when I walk the dog, although I am trying really hard to stop doing that.

8. How? You seem so normal. (this is by far the most frequent question)
– There is a lot that goes on in my head that I don’t share. Ask my husband, my parents, or my best friends and they will tell you without a doubt that it all makes sense. And a lot of things I never shared because I just thought they were normal for everyone, because they have always been normal for me.

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